Have you ever wondered what the words ‘ghosting’, ‘benching’ and ’zombieing’ mean? Well lately, I have… Yes, it’s modern-day lingo for when the guy disappears. Let us delve a bit deeper.

Nothing worse than leaving a first or second date feeling there might be something there, only to wait patiently for a follow-up text that does not comes. You thought you both had a great time, there was ‘chemistry’ and you assumed there will be plenty of dates ahead. But, in reality, this just isn’t going to happen, nah uh. He vanishes, poof!  Nothing, complete silence. So you are left feeling rejected and perhaps even vulnerable to have worn your heart on your sleeves.

What to do 

Online dating has seen the rise of Ghosting – both men and women –  having experiences it happening to them. So why, what’s the deal here?  Apparently it is far easier to ignore the situation than facing a conversation they find awkward and having to explain why you don’t want to see someone again.

So, what to do? Delete the ghost’s number and remove them from your social group… without giving a shit. Waste not another iota of time on the bullshit actions of a Ghoster. Don’t ask why or  any of that emotional stuff we women do. Just move on because there is someone out there that is just right for you. Remember to not be a ‘Ghoster yourself’


When you’re kept on the sidelines  – this is ‘Benching’, which is basically ‘keeping their options open’. This is not playing the game well. You’re just being placed on the back-burner until they find someone better. These people are selfish, danglers and they will string you along for as long as you let them.

What to do about it

They seem eager, but doesn’t make plans to meet up at least once per week, and goes silent between messages–I say confront them and cease and desist. You are a grown up and deserves to be communicated to like an adult. Any excuses– shut it down and move on.


Zombieing is when someone you care about disappears  altogether, for weeks, months, heck even years, only  to  return ‘from the dead’ with an out-of-the-blue text, phone call or social media post, with some kind of weird-ass attempt to reignite what they walked away from. That shit is destructive and manipulative – they want you to feel flattered.

The best way to respond to a zombie?

Just DON’T. It’s a dead end….